Communication is in our human nature. And in today’s day and age – we do it in the most fragmented, terrifying way: texting. Text messaging is an art form, even when sending memes. You know this, I know this, we all know this. And how fast you text back matters.
As an immediate responder myself, people’s disregard for normal response times can drive me up and down a wall. I continually must remind myself that we all have a different relationship with the phone. And patience with how we individually interact with texting is necessary.
On the other hand… I’m pretty sure I am completely correct in how I judge others’ response times.
How Fast Do You Text Back?
Within 60 Seconds
Eager beaver mode! This person either loves you deeply or DAMN do they love themselves. They hold you in such high regard as their own birthday. This kind of person is confidently an extrovert and honestly doesn’t care what anyone thinks. And that? Is classy.
1-5 Minutes
Okay — you care. But you’re, respectfully, not glued to your phone. Maybe you have your phone on vibrate. And you don’t have the preview of the text message come up. It just says “new message.” This is called self control. It’s giving moral compass. You probably have a smoothie every morning.
10 Minutes
This is boss time. This is your boss. If someone takes 10 minutes to respond to you, immediately send them your resume. They are your new CEO.
Half an Hour
It’s not that they don’t care… they’re just honestly busy. They couldn’t respond because they had no idea what to wear to brunch. And they’ll probably be sending you 6-40 options of photos of their outfit in response. The half hour mark is perfectly enough to still be a bestie but a busy bestie.
One Hour Later
One hour is like when you go for a high five and miss. One hour is when someone brings up the pineapple on pizza debate. One hour is starting a new TV show and you realize you’ve already seen it but you were high when you watched it, so how were you supposed to remember!? It’s boring. It’s been done before. It’s not special. Don’t be the one hour.
Within a Few Hours
This is actually an important time. It’s acquaintance time! They want to maintain a relationship but you’re just not a priority. And honey? We need that. We almost lost acquaintances in the lockdowns of the pandemic. And we’re now getting back to them. God bless the acquaintances and the small talk they gift us with.
8 Hours
Look, 8 hours is a workday. If you respond to me within 8 hours I will be demoting you to “work friend”
Within 24 Hours
These are the people who “just suck at texting” but they also care. So they put in the work to respond within 24 hours to prove something. We continue to give them the benefit of the doubt because that’s “their thing.” Even though I’m silently fuming. I also know I will be a 4 hour girl so soon… and want the benefit of the doubt back from you.
A Week
Listen, there is room for improvement here. You’re slacking! You are not a bestie.
A Full Month
There is still room for an apology here but it should be an essay. Wishing you the best in your recovery from the shingles which is what I am assuming you have if you take a week to respond.
A Year Later
Dump him! I don’t care if this is your mother. Dump him.
And for extra measure, here’s a visual
At the end of the day – set your own boundaries and be your own texter! And?? Text me back. Noah wrote Allie a letter every day for a year. You can send me a text.
